What have you

Hmmmm... I have been greatly entertained by the posts of those writing about their fears, aspirations, and dreams. To the quest of writing then. 

I am in Idaho. I am with Teresa. She is lovely. I have found that a great deal of what happens in our relationships has to do with our expectations and our fears. The more we expose ourselves the more we have the ability to benefit. I have been reading a lot about the things that inspire fear in me. I have been reading about buddhism, because noncompassion scares me. I have been reading about relationships because they scare me. I have been reading about sex because it scares me. Chogyam Trungpa and David Ricardo both are amazing writers that will change the way that you look at conflict and the expectations about how your mind works. This makes me feel like my mind is on its way somewhere. I have to have a path, so I am trying to choose the path of a bodhisattva. 

Getting older is awesome. Let's just get that out there right now. Our ability to understand the world gets better everyday and it is awesome. I never realized that the world is so cyclical. Nature is awesome. I never thought I would enjoy a hike so much as I have this year. 

I am a raft guide. That means that everyday I wake up and take people I have never met down some class III-IV whitewater. I like people, except the people who are stuck, people who can't answer the question "What do you do for fun?", people who don't want to talk about their jobs because they don't like them. THAT makes rafting crappy. If everyone knew how to have fun then that is what we would do. People forget. They forget that this life is not so serious, they forget that you don't just make it through life, you get to live it! I wake up in a tent. Teresa is there by my side. My back is sore. Injuries never heal. I never get the white macademia cookies. The sun is very bright. I rarely shower. I have to shave. I buy gear. I kayak. I make love with Teresa.

I will be going to Santa Cruz in the Fall. EMT class. I will find some sort of menial job and then apply for grad school. Hooray! I love school. School, school, school. That is a weird word. 

Our lives have the amazing ability to stagnate. Blah. Our lives should be lived in unrest, in craziness, in openendedness. There should be moving and crying and changing and smiling and by god there shall be fist pumping. I feel good. I feel good about trying. Trying to make it work, sticking together, loving people, exposing yourself to criticism. I just want to say that I know you guys are out there pondering the same questions as I am and trying to fight off the same things that I am, the things that make life dull, easy, routine. Let's get up early and run some class V. Lets get up and ride our bikes to work. I love hearing that you guys are getting it done, making the little changes that in the long run are big. I heard nathan tore is ACL playing frisbee, but by god he was playing wasn't he. Mickey is still throwing down on the court. Ru now rides his bike to work and hikes and swims. That is awesome. Fellas, keep it together. Keep doing it. Join a gym. Push yourselves. don't sit. Feel the anxiousness, feel the sometimes quiet voice inside you telling you to read, to think, to run. Make it happen.

Thank you guys for fighting the fight. I take refuge in the Sangha. The sangha is a buddhist term for those of you on the same path. I am happy you guys are out there living this live with me, parallel, and together. Thank you.

Can't wait to hear from all of you. 

Seth

PS Danny, two books for you or anyone in a relationship: "How to be in an adult relationship" and "Guide to Gettin it on" Read these with your lover. It will be scary and it will be powerful.